Thursday, April 29, 2010

Jones Pure Cane Cola

Wha? I used my built in computer camera
to take this photo and it came out backwards.

Jones Pure Cane Cola

Okay, the Jones drinks have never "wow'd" me. They are usually serviceable at best, horrible at worst. The charm of the company is their tremendous variety and occasional gimmickry. Dungeons and Dragons flavored sodas? Sign me up.

Which reminds me, I have a D&D soda somewhere that I still need to review.

Anyways, today I had a "Pure Cane Cola" with my lunch. It's perfectly fine. MUCH better than corn syrupy Coke or Pepsi, a real cola's cola. It doesn't leave a slimy aftertaste like Coke, it's thin but still flavorful. It's sort of a list of all the things Coke does bady, inverted. Not too sweet, not too thick, blah blah blah.

Has an oddish smell. A little bit like the sea, but the sea along a beach littered with weeds. Sort of like if a Deep One left backwash in a cola bottle. Not a full on Deep One, but a person half-way through the change, full of regret at their Innsmouth background. Which is funny because the random photo on the bottle is of a surfer shooting a yellow laser out of their armpit into the back of someones head. Deep One's don't surf, and they don't shoot lasers, but they are bad ass just like a laser-surfer.

Anyways, this drink probably deserves a better review. I'm not really feeling it today, but I'm so far behind in my reviewing that even a shoddy pass is better than nothing at all. Even "Today I drank a bottle of something and didn't read the label" as a whole review is better than leaving the site un-updated. And writing this half-assed review is better than tracking down that rotten broccoli smell in my apartment.

It's good. I'll drink it again. If I was offered a free bottle of Jones anything and I was actually thirsty, I'd choose the Pure Cane Cola. It's safe. It tastes like it's supposed to, not too sweet, not too anything.

Okay, so my Aftereffects render is ready so I guess that means I'm done.


  1. I wasn't a big fan of this. I thought it tasted oddly off, like diet cola or something, which is weird for a cane sugar beverage. I actually like Coke, though, or at least the sugar version.

  2. Dang, that post was up for like three minutes and already a response.

    Yeah, sugared Coke is disgustingly good. Or can be. I'm working on a "cola preferences" list, which sort of details the different colas from best to worst. Or vice versa, I have decided yet.

    I can see your diet Coke comment, though. I think that I've trained myself into liking thinner colas, China Cola and the like being good examples. They were initially a little odd, and indeed a bit like diet Coke in their thinness, but now I find I prefer it.

  3. You can just flip the photo in MS Paint, takes two seconds.

  4. Yeah, but then the caption would be inaccurate.

  5. My #1 Cola is RC
    My # 2 is Boylan's Pure Cane Cola
    My least fav is Coke

  6. I love how they marketed the bottled soda by allowing the customers to submit their own pictures for the company to print on the bottle. Anyway, I'm a big fan of Jones Soda, especially the berry flavor of Jones Juice and Naturals, since I don't like sodas that are overly sweet.

    1. The user photos are bizarre and nice, I'll certainly give you that.