Irn Bru Goth commercial

So I went here, which took me here, and I found this video. I laughed at it, and so should you.

Pee Cola, just a link

see more Fail Blog

So my wife sent me this link off of that "Fail Blog". I assume this is real, unlike about a third of the stuff that they show on there, as I also see a picture of an empty bottle here. That last link indicates it's a soda from Ghana. Well, I'm Ghana drink some if I ever find it.

Edit:

Looking at this photo some more, I am a little alarmed at the pop-off appearance of the plastic bottle caps. They don't strike me as firmly affixed.

My real concern is about the bottles full of white liquid. I mean, if the yellow is pee then logically the white is...

Yes, most Mexican Coke has corn syrup in it

So this site linked to one of my posts, a commenter mentioned the rumor that Mexican Coke is now made with corn syrup. I'd like to confirm that rumor, most of the Mexican Coke I've seen over the past seven or eight months is, indeed, made with corn syrup. And beware of the sugared Mexican Coke anyways, it was one of those that set out to wreck my bike and kill me.

I need a Cocta put in my mouth

You certainly can't say I'm not hopeful.

I've added a "buy Tim stuff from Amazon" button on the left there. Right above the "Share on Facebook" button. You should mash them both down.

Get to work.

You can buy me stuff like this. Don't buy any of the big cases of drinks unless your using a stolen credit card, as the shipping is ludicrously expensive.

Unicorn Chaser, a link, not a review

The Unicorn Chaser is a hilarious idea from one of my favorite buyin' stuff websites.

Thanks Brian.

Of course, there's a catch...

Inca Kola Commercial

I loathe Inca Kola, but with this commercial it moves from "destroy on sight" to "genteel enemy".

Inca kola spot tv 60's con cesar"mono"altamirano
Uploaded by la_shivi

The image of the guy holding the Inca Kola logo at the end is really striking for some reason. Well, I know the reasons but I'm too lazy to write it out.

And Rob, thanks for the link.

The Fridge Monkey

Combining drinking with stacks of glass bottles, brilliant!

The Fridge Monkey


My wife showed me this gimmicky device, I could see the hopeful glint in her eye, right through the email. A good idea, I think, but not for me. I have eigth bazillion bottles in my refrigerator and none of them are the same size, it kind of spoils the trick.

Pepsi Throwback

This isn't your father's Mountain Dew, nor is it that punk kid's,
it's YOUR Mountain Dew. At least judging by the label.
And assuming your about my age.

I've been trained by enough horror movies to know that
a "throwback" is a genetic monstrosity sure to kill
almost everyone in the film.

Okay, so Pepsi is releasing "retro" versions of its soft drinks. These drinks will use sugar instead of corn syrup. It's first mentioned in a bevindustries.com link here:

In the middle of April, PBV also will begin distributing Pepsi Throwback and Mountain Dew Throwback, which features those brands formulated with sugar.

There's a very nice write-up on this at bevreview. Smart folks over there. Too bad my "no research" policy prevents me from actually reading their website. This was an okay bit of looking because:

1. It's about something that hasn't actually been released yet.

and

2. Enough people sent me the link that I felt I HAD to look.

Not much else I can add to this. One thing mentioned in the original Bevnet article is that Pepsi has some kind of consumer voting thing for the new Mountain Dew flavors. I'm hoping I can hire some African dictator to come up here and rig the polls so we can get rid of some of those disgusting cartoon flavors they falsely call "Mountain Dew [*]".

It astounds me that companies have people vote for flavors. I've always assumed that this was total crap, even as a kid. As an adult I had it confirmed when I worked on a cereal ad campaign for which the results were determined before the "kids go vote" commercials were even aired. That Bevnet runs an article which states that:

In CSD flavors, PBV will add Mountain Dew Voltage, which was the winning flavor in the brand’s Dewmocracy campaign.

This makes me half wonder if there might not be some legitimacy to the Dewmocracy thing. And if Coke isn't passing bribes to get the worst possible results.

That Pepsi logo looks kind of Mad Maxx, especially with
the dirt on the circle part. I hate the font on
the Mountain Dew "Throwback". I want to put the designer
inside a big inner tube and roll him into a river of lava.

Root Beer Makin' Hijinx

Hey look! I got handsome.

So this is a smart guy who tries to make root beer and writes about it on his blog. I won't give the ending away, but notice that I used the word "tries".

Go look.

Tentacle Grape Soda

I was sent this link by a well-meaning friend. I'm not certain, but I think he's hitting on me.

Either way, I prefer consensual tentacle sex. And that only with sexy tentacles, not like the poorly drawn specimens featured in the ad.

Writing about hentai sex-anything is difficult, because I have to affect an air of incredulity while pretending that I've never heard of it before. "What? This 'hentai' you speak of consists of sexual drawings of anime type characters? And there's a whole genre of hentai about women being sexually molested by tentacles? Well I never."

Well I never.

This crap does bring up an issue about "collectable" sodas, as this stuff purports to be. It also brings up a question about exactly what flavor is tentacle semen. Sadly, no one seems to bring up any questions about representations of rape, especially within the realm of school girl hentai type porn.

Clearly the novelty soda maker here is trading on a cultural gimmick, something that represents the worst of a particular genre. I'm sure that the maker is not promoting rape, but is so totally accustomed to the term "tentacle rape" that they are immune to any critical thought about it. It's a tongue-in-cheek appeal to the self mocking sense of sarcasm that kids today love.

But man, why does the soda maker have to pick something so incredibly offensive? And the sad thing is that it isn't really funny, it's just a "You remember Transformers?" type joke, just pointing at something that a certain group of people know about and therefore making everyone feel like more of a group through the pointing. "We all know about tentacle rape porn and laugh at the people who look at it."

I dunno. The soda maker'll sell it. The 18-35 crowd will buy it and give it to their friends as joke presents. None of it will get drank but it will instead sit on a shelf next to the ol' anime DVD collection and a half-painted figurine or two. The soda maker'll make some money but not enough to make it worth while, will probably try to branch out into "Lolicon Lolzberry" and etc and be disappointed by the sales.

I'm writing about this in a critical tone, but just the other day I laughed at "rape seed" on an ingredients list. What a dick.