Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Coca Cola Icee from Burger King

Over two months ago the Slurpee machine broke at my local 7-11. Not the whole machine, just one mixer/spigot arrangement, and that particular spigot dispensed Coca Cola Slurpee. They never bothered to change the flavors around, so I've been mostly Slurpee-less for quite some time. I mean, sure, I can bicycle to the far off 7-11 but now it's cold...

On occasion, I would walk past the Burger King and be tempted in for an Icee. They are always awful, but I always forget how awful they are. Today I was tempted in and the Icee was, as I should have known, awful.

This is the story of that Icee and how I came to get ahold of it:

I think my description of the broken Slurpee machine above is ample proof that my life is one of disappointment and pain. From all sides I am assailed by the horrendous forces of despair. This morning I went to the post office to pick up a package, but they didn't have it - apparently it had been sent out for redelivery instead of being stashed away for pick-up like they slip said.

The horror.

Moping home, I stumbled into the local Burger King for an ersatz Slurpee fix. I mean, if people can drink chicory and dirt in place of coffee, I can drink an Icee just this once. I order and watch as the counter guy takes one of the extra large drink cups and fills it up with Coke Icee. Holy shit!, thinks I, that is a SODA sized extra large cup - I'm going to get a lot more Icee than I'm paying for. Huzzah!

The oversized cup is filled, capped, and is about to be delivered to me when the manager stops the counter person and explains the mistake. The manager pops the lid off of the extra large cup and pours the Icee out into a standard large cup of the size I was supposed to receive. As soon as I saw this operation commence, I called out that the extra large was fine but they ignored me.

The manager handed me my smaller cup and here's the conversation:

Me: You know, it was pretty wasteful to replace the extra large cup with a smaller cup. I know it was a mistake but you could have just given me the larger cup.

Manager: It was a mistake, you ordered a large cup.

Me; I know it was a mistake, I'm saying it's wasteful. Now you are throwing away a perfectly good cup and the Icee left in it.

Manager: We need the extra large cups for the soda.

Me: Are you going to wash that cup out and reuse it?

Manager: Uh, no.

Me: Then what good does it do to change out the cups? All you did was cause more waste.

I might have accepted an answer of "We need mistake cups to count for inventory" as acceptably managerial. This guy was just dumb.

But yeah, Burger King Icees are crap. I regret buying it.


  1. Is there a particular reason that keeps popping up on your page?
    It claims to be a Google ad. Why the hell would Google advertise a religion? Why the hell would a religion advertise?

  2. Being a godless atheist, I have no idea why Mormon's are lurking around the ad section of my blog unless they are lying in wait for me. But anyone can advertise on Google, all you have to do is be willing to pay every time someone clicks your link.

    That said, I'm happy it's Mormon's showing up in the ad feed as opposed to just about anybody else. Mormon's are my favorite: A hundred and fifty years ago they were completely bad ass Biblical killers, nowadays they are the nicest seeming people you could ever meet. If it's gotta be anything, I'm okay with it being Mormons.

  3. Hello Tim,

    You need to try and review INCA KOLA, it's the king of the foreign colas and the only one which actually outsells Coca-Cola in some markets like PerĂº, its country of origin. It proved to be such a good competitor for Coke that now The Coca-Cola Company owns the brand and now bottles it in the US. Give it a try with Chinese food, for some reason it's a better match than Coke.

    Check the Wikipedia entry for INCA KOLA:

  4. Yeah, I do. I have a can somewhere in the heap-o-diabetes I have in my room.

  5. Hi Tim,
    I came across your blog today and really enjoyed it. My company makes all natural gourmet ouzo-flavored soda. Can I send you a sample? Check out our website and email me with your contact information if you're interested.

  6. Argh. Not sure if my web page came through. Trying again.