Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Pepsi Natural, Journal Entry Two

Pepsi Natural, Journal Entry Two:

I've visited dozens of stores and called many more, no one seems to have ever heard of Pepsi Raw or any all natural Pepsi product. At each turn I am greeted by a lack of understanding, whether due to the fantastic assertion that there is an organic Pepsi product or because most deli workers speak English as a second language I do not know.

My wife hollers at me whenever I try and break away and investigate a new shop, my will is breaking. Does this marvelous thing exist, or is it a hopeful wisp of fantasy? Will I be jostled by a swarthy seaman and wind up dead by poison, a victim of those who wish to keep Pepsi Raw out of the eyes of man?

I had a dream last night, I drew it out:

My whole Pepsi Natural Saga:

The Prelude
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7

It's a bottle of Pepsi Raw atop a volcano spouting lava. The banner of the top reads "Persevere", there's a bunch of other words but I didn't bother reading them.


  1. Why does the lava have a three fingered hand?

  2. The other two fingers were pecked off by a flying ostrich.

  3. well, I don't mind breaking the no internet investigation rule, and apparently we're in the wrong country to try this product. They're using sugar and supposedly some organic ingredients. Maybe someone from Britain can mail you a can of it.

  4. Ok, should have read all of the entries first. I was pretty sure I read that they were only test marketing it in the UK, but someone claims to have found it in California. Of course, they're probably just yanking your chain. How rude.

  5. Fear not, friend reader, the happy ending is foreordained.