Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Goya Coconut Soda

That's a disconcerting picture
once you take in the background.

Free yellow jaundice in every bottle.

That's the look when the coyote runs off the cliff
and he looks at the camera,
sharing the realization of his
impending demise with the audience.

Goya Coconut Soda

I didn't really want to write up a new soda tonight, but it was either that or watching "Desperate Housewives" with my wife. She insisted I watch it after I'd subjected her to half of a Futurama movie earlier in the day. The two things aren't exactly equal, when she watches "my" television programs she has her laptop to fiddle with, I do not any such luxurious distraction. I sit and keep my eyes on the screen, not wanting to hurt an actor's feelings by letting my attention wander.

In a moment of inspiration, I gave my wife a choice between my watching her television program or my drinking a soda. Her hatred of my soda shelf far outstrips her desire to spend time with me, so here I am with a Goya Coconut Soda.

It tastes a little like suntan lotion, tasty suntan lotion. When I say "tastes a little bit", the emphasis is on the little. There's hardly any taste here at all, it's all just cold and sweet. A little syrupy, too. Goya Coconut Soda has the consistency and carbonation and faint vanilla tinge of a cream soda, but coconuty. And again, it's very very slight.

The barest trace of taste is not a bad thing, in this case. I'm not a big coconut fan, so much more and it would have registered too strongly. I like that it tastes like I'm drinking 7-Up out of the cooler that held my leaky sunscreen. It's a good thing, tastes like a beach without the dead fish and loud radios.

There's a fizzy end to the taste that kind of feels like drinking a sparkling water, that flat carbonation taste that dries off your tongue after a sip. Goya Coconut Soda has that, but its competing with a bit of waxiness.

What the hell is that waxy feeling that some sodas leave in the mouth? I think I've been encountering it mostly in fruit sodas. Is a coconut a fruit or a nut? Either way, I fear this waxy aftertaste - no good can come of it. Oh wait, it's obvious where that taste comes from: They make this stuff out of wax fruit. Duh.

Here's some more of that crazy Goya dithering.


  1. I tried this once, with high hopes, and made that same coyote face.

  2. Yeah, not so much a face of horror but of "You got me, now we can get on with our lives."

  3. Why would they put coconut in soda, anyway? It's a mystery, all right. I really don't think it belongs there.

    I fear that the waxiness has a chemical heritage of some kind, best not to ask what kind.

  4. At least coconut makes more sense than terragon, which I drank tonight. Makes more sense, but tastes worse.

  5. It's not for everyone, but I think it's delicious! :)
    P.S. Found this blog while googling coconut soda

  6. Sam D.,

    You spelled "gargling" as "googling".

    Tim H

  7. Here's the thing: it's not really meant to be drunk on its own -- BUT, put the lime in the coconut in a tall Collins glass filled with ice, add a splash of Bacardi silver, and drink it all up, mon. Tasty!!

  8. You'd add alcohol to something this cheap?