Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Tymbark Apple-Mint Drink

Horror or not horror?

Not horror? Crom be praised.

Tymbark, a surprisingly not disgusting apple-mint drink.

Tymbark Apple-Mint Drink

This tiny bottle contains a surprisingly drinkable pseudo-juice. It's awfully syrupy for an apple juice, but I'm not complaining.

It's a cold and tastes clean, but there is something wrong with it. Something missing. The normal bite of apple juice isn't there, I guess. It's just too watery. The mint is pretty subtle, but so is the apple taste so it all evens out to bland water. Yep, it's just cold water with a little bit of appley-mint.

But that's the trick, it mostly tastes like water but it's still syrupy. Syrupy water, that's a good trick. Nicely done.

Looking at the ingredients list there is nothing to indicate any sort of thickener. The actual list is pretty commendable aside from possible corn syrup:

water, apple juice from concentrate (25%), sugar (D), and or glucose/fructose corn syrup (G), acidity regulator (citric acid), natural mint aroma. D,G - depending on the used ingredients.

So maybe the corn syrup thickens it up. That'd make sense. The "D or G" thing is pretty interesting, it makes reading the ingredients into a choose your own adventure. Choose G, flip to page 34 and get diabetes.

And what is "natural mint aroma"? It sure heck tastes like mint, so it's not just aroma. In fact, it tastes more like mint than it smells. Perhaps the crafty Poles are learning the art of misdirection? "No, no, no. I got it. We tell them it smells like mint when it actually tastes like mint, that'll confuse them, eh?" Without a Polish Pope to keep 'em in line, no telling what hijinks they'll get up to.

Of course, I think a German Pope would be better at keeping them under control. Eh? Get it? Eh?

I've always been a fan of the Polish over-sized juice boxes. This is basically the same thing, just in a tiny bottle with a cool pull off cap and a lot more wateriness in it.

Randomly placed stickers are always welcome.


  1. You look fabulous in that 80s-Penthouse soft glow. Nicely done!

  2. I feel fabulous when I have a Penthouse.

  3. Tymbark actually has some really tasty drinks other than the apple mint (which isn't my favorite, and in Poland at least is much stronger than you describe). Lived in Poland for quite some time. :)

  4. I was in Poland for a paltry month, but lived in Greenpoint for five years, which was like practice Poland. Now it's practice Williamsburg. Alas.

    Anyways, I love the Polish box juices. There is a Polish Apple Mint box drink that I die for. So yeah, this is just a kind of weak version of the good stuff.

  5. The confusion of the word "aroma" (aromat in Polish) comes from the way we understand the meaning of that word in Poland. It means not only smell but also taste. So when you read the translation from Polish to English it makes no sense.
    Apparently you've got the weak version of juice (the same way like we've got weak version of the stuff from foreign countries). Still it's nice to hear it wasn't that bad ;)

    1. You folks do that with lightning and thunder too, right? All combined into one word...