Saturday, December 6, 2008

Uludag Gazoz


"Uludag Gazoz" sounds like the name of a monster
in the Fiend Folio, a copy of which you can
barely see in the middle left.
Silly Fiend Folio monsters. Only a few were any good,
like the githyanki. The other day I was looking
at a web page for the band "Mindflayer" and they had
something on it about how "githyanki intestines are our costumes".
Ah, the githyanki/mindflayer rivalry, did that make it
into the 3rd and 4th edition?



Uludag Gazoz
FREQUENCY: Rare
NO. APPEARING: 1 or 6
ARMOR CLASS: 7
MOVE: 3"
HIT DICE: 3
% IN LAIR: 90%
TREASURE TYPE: Nil
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: Nil
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Save vs Poison or nausea for 2d4 rounds
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Save vs Spells or confusion for 1d6 rounds
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Standard
INTELLIGENCE: Semi-
ALIGNMENT: Neutral Evil
SIZE: S
PSIONIC ABILITY: Nil
Attack/Defense Modes: Nil



Githyanki...



Gack, glub...Oh yeah, that bubblegum/champagne
whatever yuckiness. Wasn't really expecting that.

Uludag Gazoz
Produced by Erbak-Uludag of Bursa-Turkey for Sama Foods of London

Another utterly generic champagne/raspberry/bubble-gum soda. Smells better than the average, tastes a little better too, not that this doesn't mean it tastes like crap. It isn't crazy tasting, not as strong a flavor as these things usually kick out. Ehh... Boring. I guess I'll be able to finish this one, which is a point in its favor. It's not too foul.

The label identifies it as 'Fruits Flavoured "Fizzy" Soft Drink'. I like that it has a mix of English English, "Flavoured", and not-good English, "Fruits". Not much else to like, though.

Boring taste. And has nothing to do with Thanksgiving.

The real treat of this soda is the mystery of how it got here. I mean after the "momma and poppa soda fall in love" part. It was made in Turkey for a company in London. So the stuff goes to London. It hangs out there for a few years, gets tired of the scene and somehow makes its way across the sea to New York. Probably by raft. A short while in NYC finds its dreams shattered, and the can winds up in a Middle-Eastern deli in Bay Ridge.

How awesome is that.

33 comments :

  1. I love that last paragraph. There's a movie treatment in there somewhere!

    Or as someone says in Annie Hall, "Right now it's only a notion, but i think I can get money to turn it into a concept, and then later turn it into an idea."

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just like rafts. I want to get the money to turn my raft into a coracle, and my coracle into a boat.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha I had my first few from a 10th grade field trip the the Bay Side Expo in Boston. I liked it but your right, it got bonus points due to the "where the hell did this come from" catagory. this rolls a d12, not a d20.

    ReplyDelete
  4. uludag's pretty good. your review sucks xP

    ReplyDelete
  5. It’s embarrassing that this is the first link that pops up when searching for uludag gazoz… The response has been universally positive when I’ve offered it to friends.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That's an easy fix. Don't offer the stuff with a Google chaser.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ULUDAG Rockz!! I like it

    ReplyDelete
  8. Udulag Gazoz is GREAT. Suggest the author needs a little education to correct his views

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't see you trotting out knowledge here.

      Delete
  9. I think Udulag Gazoz causes minor brain damage, as it's boosters can't seem to manage more than two sentences.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, since one of its ingredients is sodium benzoate (I think it's a preservative found in mostly all carbonated drinks) is claimed by Professor Peter W. Piper of the University of Sheffield to cause damage by itself and inactivate vital parts of DNA in a cell's mitochondria.

      Maybe this is related. Maybe not.

      Anyways, I like your post...

      Refreshing point of view.

      P.S. Thanks for making me realize why I actually likeD this drink. Couldn't nail it down. It's the overall "bubble-gummy" flavour and the fact that the drink is transparent. Most soda drinks with all those fancy neon colors are annoying.

      Delete
    2. Dude, if you start looking up the chemicals that are in soda you'll live a life of regret.

      Delete
  10. Are you shitting me? Uludag Gazoz is a bloody legend in Turkey!

    ReplyDelete
  11. This wasn't the first result for my Google search of Uludağ. It now is 8th after 7 results on the official website. Which is down at the moment, so I'm not sure if that's any better.

    Here in Switzerland, Uludağ is sold in pretty much every Turkish take-away joint, of which there are lots. I personally love it, it's sort of a Turkish Mountain Dew. And I'll take a Turkish Dew over an American Dew any time (it has to travel a couple of thousand miles less). Actually, I usually cannot stand sweetend soda beverages *at all*. There are very few exceptions. Uludağ is one of them, as are Dew and Guaraná Antarctica. Can't think of any others right now, but there are not many more. Which means that I really like it, I guess. I will usually choose it whenever I see it being offered.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, since one of its ingredients is sodium benzoate (I think it's a preservative found in mostly all carbonated drinks) is claimed by Professor Peter W. Piper of the University of Sheffield to cause damage by itself and inactivate vital parts of DNA in a cell's mitochondria.

      Maybe this is related. Maybe not.

      Anyways, I like your post...

      Refreshing point of view.

      P.S. Thanks for making me realize why I actually likeD this drink. Couldn't nail it down. It's the overall "bubble-gummy" flavour and the fact that the drink is transparent. Most soda drinks with all those fancy neon colors are annoying.

      Delete
    2. I apologise.

      My mistake.

      The reply above was intended to be for tim h.

      Delete
  12. Lounging, by calling anything the _____ version of Mountain Dew, you guarantee I have to give it a second try. Crap.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Everyone's entitled to think something sucks, but I really just don't get the raspberry/bubble gum/champagne taste comparison. I love Uludag Gazoz, which I think comes off as a lemon or grapefruit flavored soda, and when I just checked out their site, see that the one I almost always picked up is branded as "Clear Lemonade". They also have an orange one which is harder to find that is also good.

    I think a huge plus for it is that it's not overly sweet, it's more tart than anything else, and I appreciate the fact that it is made with sugar and not HFCS.

    What made you think it had anything to do with Thanksgiving?

    *goes and gets a gazoz out of the fridge*

    ReplyDelete
  14. I have no idea why I mentioned Thanksgiving. Maybe I wrote the review on Thanksgiving, as it was posted Dec 8ish.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Haha, you have no life.

    ReplyDelete
  16. What the hell man. Uludag is amazing.
    They serve it in every kebab shop here in Australia. It is the stuff of legend.
    Maybe our Uludag is more fresher then the Uludag in America. I don't know.
    But I can't agree with this review.

    ReplyDelete
  17. So what do you like about it? White Castles in the US is the stuff of legend, but most people don't admit to it being any good.

    ReplyDelete
  18. As an avid champagner AND uludag gazoz drinker, I am offended TWICE.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Being English, this reminds me of Tizer and Vimto, and Irn Bru (It's Scottish, made with real girders). At least it's drinkable unlike Dr Pepper. All are trade marks of their registered owners....

    ReplyDelete
  20. thanks for dissing my countries drinks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And afterwards I was pissing your countries drink, and I bet it'd taste pretty much the same.

      Delete
  21. The stuff is alright but it seems like culturally the offense level goes up if you don't agree with its flavor. I tasted a fresh one, it did have a slight raspberry bubblegum flavor but I enjoyed that! Palettes differ but this stuff really agreed with mine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "...culturally the offense level goes up if you don't agree with its flavor" is a pretty good response. Like it's not politically correct to dislike something made by non-Westerners.

      Delete
  22. Tim H, you're a dick.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Did you drink it ice cold? İm enjoying it right now! Legendary Uludağ gazoz rockz! And Tim h sucks d...!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Cdl: I've only had the sparkling natural mineral water which I like. Better than source Perrier (SP), San Pellegrino, Canada dry and generic, BUT expensive available at Turkish and Egyptian delis. I go for SP because the can is serving size and easy to open. Uludag is also serving size here but requires a can opener
    and it's pricey...cdl

    ReplyDelete

 
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