Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Loux Sour Cherry


Nothing on the label lies,
as nowhere does it say "delicious" or "palatable".



This looks like the beginning of a Disney movie
about three likable ragamuffins trying to find their way home
against all odds. I hope it's a snuff film.


Lacking any other worth,
the sour cherry dances for nickels in the street.

Loux Sour Cherry Drink

First off, this bottle of Loux is hardly carbonated. Barely a tingle. That was the greatest shock, and it managed to confuse away my trepidation at the "sour cherry" element of the drink. It tastes watery, but not flat, but still very sour cherry.

Sour cherry. Soooouuurrrr cherrrrrrrry.

I've never cared for "sour cherry" anything, putting it right next to "spoiled nectarine" flavor-wise. What the heck is sour cherry supposed to mean and why do these heathenish foreigners love it so? It's a common flavor in Polish boxed juices, as well. Does some secret, unholy Greco-Polish alliance exist? Are they plotting to reinvent college wrestling? Will a swarthy foreigner stumble against me on the streets of Providence, slaying me with a poisonous needle in order to keep this foul secret hidden?

I dunno about this stuff. The first drink was pretty good, the next drink was better as I got over the shock of there not being any carbonation. The third drink started the slide downhill, now I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish it. I'm a cheap fat fuck, and for me to not finish something is the biggest indicator of "bad" I can think of.

The stuff does get a thumbs up for its ingredient list: Carbonated water, natural sour cherry juice, sugar, citric acid, and only two preservatives. Not bad. I mean, it tastes CLEAN. It goes down easy, I just don't want to let it get there. And I don't like the way it hangs around in my mouth, I'll need a drink to wash out the drink.

Yeah, I don't think I'll be drinking this again. Even in the baby 11 ounce bottle it's more than I can handle.



Edit: Okay, fifteen minutes after writing this, I'm feeling a little ill. This stuff is way TOO sweet, way TOO syrupy juicy. I'll stick to Haloumi cheese from the Greek market, thank you.

Haloui is the best. I use it to make Polish style "Knopki" sandwiches: A cross-wise slice of french bread, butter, salt and pepper, a slice of haloumi, a slice of tomato, maybe a slice of radish. Hell yeah. Make about ten of the little fuckers and eat them all up, it rocks.

6 comments :

  1. man you are such a girl, sour cherry drink is the best drink ever, so hard to get in the uk as well, had to bring bottles back from greece

    ReplyDelete
  2. I myself would prefer to bring back the clap from Greece. A whole case full.

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  3. I love it. Where can I buy it? I live near Tampa FL

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's pretty easy to find. Drive to the beach, then keep heading east past the Strait of Gibraltar. Watch for Greece on the left, you'll know it by the big columns.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think your tastebuds have been killed by the Coca-Cola industrial sugary soft drink complex. The Loux Sour Cherry drink is awsome. I predict this will by THE flavor to drink in the coming years, and Cola barons will try to seize the market and corrupt it with their usual over sugar, over carbonation, high priced, low quality, artifical flavored version. I wish I could get Loux Sour Cherry here in Cali.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I promise you that my taste buds are not Central American union workers. In fact, you can probably find a picture of my tongue somewhere here on the site if you don't believe me.

    And that's a pretty awful reference to make anyways, I'm surprised at you. Show some respect.

    ReplyDelete

 
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