Saturday, September 27, 2008

Rocky Mist, Meijer store brand

Look at that foul "Tradewinds Sweet Tea" skulking in the background. It's the bottle with the blue cap and the garrote.

Hmmm... Concentrated orange juice? Clearly this stuff is healthy.

Rocky Mist, Meijer store brand

I'm going to steal a word from Phredd. "Analog". You'll see this word later in the review, when you do you can know that this word was offered up by Phredd, I use it with his permission. It's a good word, and I appreciate it. Thanks Phredd.

The trip to Michigan was a whirlwind, not a lot of time between the drive and the airplane. I had no car, so I was at the mercy of Phredd for access to convenience stores and Phredd was at the mercy of a merciless clock which knew no mercy. We had to return the rental truck to a Pensky dealership, while Phredd gassed it up I dashed into the station and was met with a wall of store brand soft drinks.

A "Meijer" store is a Michiganish chain similar to Wal-Mart, but apparently without the Chinese collusion. Or at least without the coast to coast coverage. Like all good chain stores, they have store brand knock-offs of popular drinks. Including Mountain Dew.

Back in the day, I used to collect imitation Mountain Dew. I had an impressive collection, but it all wound up in tears so I won't go into that now. Maybe another, braver day I will pry the lid off that coffin and share my pain. Needless to say, I was pleased to find two Mountain Dew knock-offs in the Meijer gas station, one being "Rocky Mist".

Rocky Mist is a pretty great name. Sounds cool and delicious, but not as early morning as Mountain Dew. Rocky Mist you can enjoy any time of day, provided you are in a shady cleft or valley, Mountain Dew you put on your cereal. Whatever you do, don't try to enjoy it with Listerine slime in your mouth, it's not fair to you or the soda.

Rocky Mist is a great Mountain Dew analog (please see first paragraph), smooth and syrupy like a good canoeing river which hasn't been filled with beer cans. Probably better than White Lightning, the Wal-Mart house soda. Rocky Mist does lack something, it doesn't have that delicious bite of Mountain Dew, that electrifying tingle when the MD hits your tongue. But it's good. I recommend it.

My only regret is that I couldn't drink the whole bottle, as I had to get on the airplane in three hours and that much caffeine would've had me running on the ceiling after chewing through my seatbelt.

I don't know if "love" is the proper word here.
I think we need to spend some time apart.


  1. "fuck rub" would actually be Rock & Rye.
    actually quite good. Faygo is cheap, sweet, and wonderful, the nectar of the psychopathic gods.

  2. For those of who might later wonder: Jessy is referring to my confusion about a drink title in "The Ones That Got Away".

    I just had to pass up on a bunch of Faygo in Atlanta, as I was feeling under the weather.

  3. (aldi's) Mountain Holler-this was almost identical to Mountain Dew, maybe even better
    (faygo) Moon Mist-flat mountain dew
    (krogers' Big K) Citrus Drop-watery
    (Coca-Cola) Mello Yello/Surge-The same damn thing, but Surge having more caffeine and a bit more lemon flavor
    (dr. pepper) Sun Drop-watery

  4. I'm liking Rocky Mist. 88 cents for a two litre! My only question is how much caffeine is in it. Same as a Mt Dew?