Sunday, September 14, 2008

Starswings Jasmine Tea

Starswings Jasmine Tea

A can?

Or a bottle? Either way, burn it for a witch!

Alas, the one that got away. I found this stuff at the Jay International Food Store in St. Louis, while buying novelty foodstuffs for a bachelor party. What a peculiar beast this is! Neither bottle nor can, an imponderable chimera!

Knowing any bottle this unique was bound to hold something that taste like soap, I bought it and brought it to the bachelor party. Dope that I am, I lost track of it and someone else wound up drinking most of it. Not all of it, but enough that I wasn't going "seconds" after a stranger.

All I had left was the cottle, or maybe ban. Cattle? Ban cattle? The stuff smelled like soap, confirming my earlier guess. Sadly, not much else was gleaned at the time aside from a quick whiff and two photos. So...

Today I cheat. Part of my sworn intent was not to look up anything about these beverages on the internet, but I am going to google "Starswings" and blindly choose ONE link. Let's see...

Okay, a page about the company that makes the stuff. Starswings Beverages is a subsidiary of Starswings Group from Singapore. Okay. They've invested 35 million dollars in a factory in Foshon. I guess they could've gotten away with half that if they'd chosen to just make bottles or cans, instead of an amalgam of both. What else...

Oh! The company has a health permit from the "Beijing Entry-Exit Inspection and Quarantine Authority". I'm sure those are incredibly hard to get.

Blah blah blah. No explanation of their secret bottle/can hybrid breeding program.

Summary: Fun to look at, smells like pump bottle hand soap. Taste unknown, probably better that way.


  1. Some sort of Escheresque nightmare come to life? It hurts my eyes to look at the pictures.

  2. A little more Dr. Moreau than Escher, I think, but I won't quibble.