Who the Hell Goes to the Bahamas: Second to Last
Okay, the totally crazy can made me feel bad about drinking it. As soon as I tipped that can back the face would stop smiling and I'd feel like a murderous dick. And I hate punch out of cans. If it's a big glass bowl with bits of fruit in it, I'll give it a try, especially if there's a big metal dipper. But cans always taste like metal, especially with flat drinks.
I avoided this one even longer than the Green Power 500, and with as little reason. It isn't bad, but instead is overwhelmingly good. The sugar sweet kicks in the door to your house and then makes you square dance for six hours straight, fun for the first ten minutes but hellish after that. If this stuff met Tropical Punch Punchy, the guy in the Hawaiian hat, poor Punchy would get the worst of it (in my notes I wrote "would bend Punch over and use him roughly", but that seems in bad taste so I'm leaving it out of the blog posting).
Let me say that again: I hated it, but I hate punch. I recognize this as something that might be good punch to folks who like punch. However, it is very, very sweet. Too sweet even for me, and I'm so full of sweet that when I pee it comes out like soft serve ice cream.
I couldn't drink the whole can, it'd've had me heaving in the bowl. It sat on a shelf for the day, then gave me a pleasant surprise that evening. The stuff came out yellow. It's yellow. Who the hell makes yellow punch?
If I liked punch, this might be king, but as things stand its nought to me but a petty despot.
PS. It's slightly carbonated.