Ülker Link Lemon Aromated Soft Drink

Why does the can have to say "refreshing"? Now I feel pressured.

Ülker Link Lemon Aromated Soft Drink

At first drink I wasn't impressed. A very lemony soda, not much else. The waxy aftertaste was less than impressive. But then I looked at the can again, and read that this is a "Lemon Aromated Soft Drink." I love that. What the hell does "aromated" mean? Can I have it done to me when I'm dead? Aromated is a great, great word. All the better in that it doesn't pass spell check.

Look at the funny pull tab. Why can't they make pull tabs proper,
like us Americans? And look at how
they misspell "lemon" half the time.

Speaking of dead things, among the few English words on the can are "Attention!...Keep cool and away from direct sunlight". Just like a corpse, or an undead. I guess an undead is still a corpse, right? Either way, don't let Link Lemon Aromated Soft Drink bite you - zombie bite or vampire bite, neither is good in the long run.


"Lemuel, I think Hank got bit by an Ülker Link Lemon Aromated Soft Drink can during that last supply raid."


"If it's true, then he's dead to us, Zeke. He'll be aromated before sunset. We'll put on a real nice feed for him, and then put him down. Do we have any Olde Cape Cod BBQ Sauce? It goes great with everything."

Even though English is used on half the can for the draw in graphics, the ingredients are listed in Turkish, German, French, and Ancient Greek. Muddling through, I can read that the stuff is 3% "jus de citron", which I assume means fruit juice and not citric acid. Three percent juice is pretty good for any faux juice beverage, good work Ülker. Of course, Coca Cola used to have a small amount of real lemon juice in it too, till they figured out that chemicals gave a more consistent favor.

Honestly, I'm a fan of consistent flavor in my soft drinks. I don't like it when they fuck around with my expectations. If you have a batch that tastes different than the norm, put it in a different colored can and call it "Extreme" or "Original Formula".

Not that I've ever experienced Link Lemon Aromated Soft Drink having any inconsistency in taste. It's always tasted perfectly identical, from the first taste of the single can I drank to the last sip of that same can - of course I've only had one can.

I will drink this soda again, should it be foolish enough to cross my path. However, I kind of hope it stays out of my way.

Sniff...

...and recoil.